Resemblance. Remembrance.
People say when you live with someone for a long time; you
start to look alike: your spouse, your partner, your parent, or even your pet. Once I told the
father of my son’s friend that his boy is looking more and more like his mother.
The father’s reaction was, “Yeah, but it’s ok. He’s got my eyes.” I was
wondering why people want their children to look like themselves. I was curious.
My son, Johann, is a halfy. (I did not know this word until
he was born. For some reason, I like this word much better than a mixed kid.)
As it is usually the case with halfies, it is hard to predict whom the child
will look after.
At home, in our hallway, we hung pictures of Johann and his
grandmother side by side. Johann never had a chance to meet his grandmother as
she passed away in her thirties when my husband was still a young child.
Strangely, Johann looks much more like his grandmother than either my husband
or me. Because I know my husband’s love for his mother and all of the unspoken
words, I feel so touched when I see Johann’s picture right next to hers,
resembling her.
This week, I could not erase the image I saw when responding
to the ancestors’ call. It started with pitch-dark black, then suddenly, the
color transformed into an object, a leather belt. I got chills in my spine and
I had to hurriedly find my way back to reality.
 |
| A Snake Skin Belt |
----------------------------------
Words always failed me
No words could express how much I hated her
I did
He told me I resembled her
Because I resembled her
I was whipped
I was whipped
The long snake with its vicious tongue
Its skin and poison wrapped me around
Until my breath escaped me
Until the ground swallowed my tiny body
Now I see why he had to stay in the dark for thousands years
Until I come to summon him
Rest in peace
I release you
I see resemblance in a beautiful child
I am not afraid
Why were you
I do not fear resemblance
I release you
Rest in peace
NF
No comments:
Post a Comment