Purple… Spectrum…
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| (Lake Natron in Tanzania) |
This photo of Lake Natron completely blew my mind. The
minute I saw it, I felt an inexplicable energy, fear and freedom all at the
same time. Lake Natron is known to be blood red, very salty and very hot. Yet,
there are some animals living around it. When animals die, they turn into stone,
as the soda and salt in the water calcifies the creatures, and – as they dry – it
perfectly preserves them.
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| Lake Natron |
The blood red water, the blue sky, the deep and dark purple
horizontal line, and these ghostly dead animals fascinate me…
I have always loved purple. If I make unconscious decisions,
almost everything I pick is purple. I never really thought about the reason. I
guess I just loved the mysterious aspect of the color – a combination of red
and blue, splashy, yet deep and dark.
In The Book of Symbols,
I found that beyond kingly splendor, much of the symbolic meaning of the color purple
comes from the fact that it unites opposites. Purple can stand for the red of
passion being balanced by the blue of reason, or the ideal balanced by the real,
or love by wisdom, heaven by earth, or psychologically, for the union of
opposing energies within an individual.
This interpretation of purple explains a lot of things in my
life – my change of career path, my marriage, my child, my inner struggle, my
semi-obsession (right, semi!) with controlling and balancing my life. As a
child, I noticed a lot of expectations from my parents and teachers. I tried my
best to satisfy everyone and their expectations without rationally evaluating
the expectations I was held up to. I was very hardworking and competitive,
eager to please everyone. Then, for various reasons, I’ve changed during late
adolescence and emerging adulthood. I can blame some traumatic events I
experienced, but I also went through psychological difficulties for almost fifteen
years. When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, my life had already plunged
into a dark and deep despair, and I did not know how to revive my life in me.
The blue sky that I saw as a child had completely disappeared. There was so
much pain and anger alternating with uncontrollable passion and energy: a
typical bipolar condition. I managed to stay in school, but while fighting the
disorder, I almost lost everything that I dreamed of. One thing I learned for
sure was to not let anyone make decisions for me. This was a kind of fantasy
when all I could see was the white walls that locked me up and utterly
unfriendly doctors and psychologists who would arrogantly judge my life based
on (back then) DSM-IV.
I am lucky that I got a second chance to rebuild my life. I
met my husband who tried all his best to open my eyes to see the blue sky,
hopes and a future. Ten years of friendship and marriage made me realize the possibility
of coexistence of the endless horizontal lines of blue and red. They coexist in
parallels. But my visual illusion (spiritual vision) creates the beautiful
purple, the combination of blue and red. My purple is in a spectrum. It never
makes the perfect purple; depending on how blue and red are mixed. But I know
that I have made peace with my life where I see the purple...
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I see you
I see you where you lead me
To the west
Once I was told one day I would meet all my ancestors in the
west
That is to where you are leading me
Where the blue meets the red
Where the day meets the night
Before falling into the deepest serenity
All the noises in the world will turn into stones in the
Lake Natron
All the unspoken words will evaporate into the purple
horizontal
Where I find you
NF
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